Red on... Season 8.

Season 8 I found very hard to begin
with.  The Gift I counted down the
days for.  I didn't really enjoy
the episode, but I drank in every
MulderMoment like I was dying of
a lack of Mulder in my life.
Per Manum was one of the most
amazingly beautiful feelings of
relief I have ever had.  The
relief and the MSR hit me that
night with extreme force.  I was
elated... but sad too.  I was
counting how many M and S moments
we had left before it was gone
forever.

This is Not Happening and DeadAlive
were the most painful moments of
my XF-life up to that point.
Mulder may have come back, but
the shock I suffered was horrendous
and the empathy I had for Scully
made the pain worse.

And then?

My heart was broken by the S8-Mulder.
No enthusiasm, no fire, no love,
nothing burned in his eyes.  I
collapsed into despair.  i am only
just beginning to awaken from that.

Existence was beauty itself.  I
was begging, pleading with God, the
CC, anyone, to change the world, make
this be it, please take away the
reality of S9-without-Mulder, let
us keep this moment as a stairway
to heaven, doorway to the movie,
please.

I guess you can't change the world
with prayers to the Big Surfer,
after all.